Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Why?

     That was my favorite word as a kid: Why? I remember having an insatiable curiosity and deep desire to know. To know information. To know why people did what they did. To know why society was the way it was. I just wanted to know. Fast forward some years and my oldest picked up where I left off. Seriously, had he asked another "Why?" question I may have not had an oldest. Looking back on that time and seeing the person he has become, I see that innate curiosity still at work in him, still making him question.
      Sometimes we ask ourselves the Why? question. Tonight at a book study with fellow educators, that Why? query was raised. "Why would I blog?" asked one teacher, "I have nothing to say. Or nothing important." Hmmmm, my mind whirred, pushing out it's own question--Why do I blog and what do I have to say?
      I finally have an answer. I blog because I love to write. It's a freeing way for me to express myself. A way that comes more easily to me than being verbally articulate. Ask any of my colleagues and they'll nod in agreement. I stammer and stutter out my thoughts in a staccato style, failing most times to coherently string together the words needed for a cohesive thought. But give me a keyboard and the words don't fail me. Instead they overwhelm me. I write blogs because I selfishly want to write.
       Usually, I don't have much to say. I ramble or rant about what I'm most passionate about and that's teaching and kids--not necessarily in that order. Blogging is a way for me to find an audience for my thoughts, a platform to pronounce my ideas, a venue for hashing out ideas, a place to admit failures and celebrate victories. A blog, I guess, is more for me than anyone else. It's my release.
     During our discussion about blogging teachers, one person commented about putting words out there that stay out there. How scary that is. How blogging involves taking a risk. How blogging could represent rejection.
     Honestly? I've never thought about what others think of this reflective work. Given the small audience this blog hits, I don't think I've much to worry me about appearing weird to my readers. That said, I believe it to be imperative that we educators do blog, or communicate our ideas in some manner. I find this vehicle to be challenging. If I write it, do I live it? If I write it, do I believe it? If I write it, to I implement it?  Words are plentiful, but actions...not so much.
     So why do I write this blog? Perhaps I see it as a challenge. If I'm so passionate about something, do I put my actions where my keystrokes are? Am I willing to share failures as well as successes? Am I willing to try being innovative, and sharing the experience in an uncut version?
      Blogging is a learning tool, for me. It forces me to really think about what I believe and why I believe it. I may not be consistent as a blogger, or eloquent, or insightful, or profound when I write. I just chronicle my teaching journey, one post at a time, and think about what I do and why I do it.
      I still ask myself and others the Why? question. And for me, it has made all the difference.

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